Monthly Archives: December 2015

Christmas has come and gone

While I am happy that all the Christmas stuff is taken down and put away until next year, I am sad because this morning DJ left at 5 AM for work. The first night he’s away is always the hardest and I can’t seem to fall asleep for crap.

But Christmas was wonderful. We had an extremely hard year and are just now playing catch up with our fiances because of my health issues and him being laid off. We’ve both talked about it and we’re thinking that the company he’s running with now the perks are just too good to pass up with him being home every weekend and a guaranteed amount of money, things really are looking up.

Thanks to this wonderful little town we were able to get some seriously awesome gifts for our boys. The landlord hosts a toy party every year and collects children’s names and ages for families in need and we got a good sized bag from that party as well as three garbage bags full of toys from toys for tots. My heart was so full that the entire community pulled together to help out the family that moved in and their entire world went upside down.

I love this house. I love everything about this house. I loved decorating it, and most importantly I love the people living here inside it. I miss DJ when he’s away, I do. But in the end I know that we need to pay bills, save for a wedding and make sure we have a nest egg, emergency fund etc.

DJ with this pay check is ordering me my Christmas presents and all of them are planner related. *swoon* I’m ordering vinyl and a heat press to start to make shirts, mugs etc. So far I am loving my life.


New Dog Surprises

I wasn’t sure I was going to blog about this, but we have come to a firm decision with this so I feel comfortable with going ahead and blogging this.

Before DJ left we found a dog for free on Facebook Rummage Sale site one of the many for our area. The people seemed in a hurry to get rid of this dog and she was adorable. I messaged them and asked them questions that any dog owner would ask. What breed is she? They said Shar Pei/Pug mix. Is she good with kids? Oh yeah she’s super mellow. What about other dogs? Yup good with other dogs. She’s a companion dog and loves to be around people especially my 3 year old. GREAT! My 18 month old is not far from just turned 3 in the age group range of toddlers. Is she up to date on shots? Yes. Is she house trained? Yes.

DJ left for OTR and I had her alone. I was taking her for walks 8 times a day or more every hour on the hour from 6:15 AM to 10 PM and she still began to use the house as her potty. Her anxiety showed more and more. I slowly introduced her to the dogs, she attacked my senior Tiny twice for no reason, and Princess once over food. Let’s face it Princess is a bitch when it comes to food, I know this I feed them seperately for this reason but John slipped them something.

Well I went to get her on a leash to take her outside and she tried to bite me twice on both attempts to get her outside. I posted her to Craigslist with rehoming fee and to Facebook explaining I was scared she would go after my children and that these owners lied to me about everything.

Well a dog trainer emailed me from the Craigslist AD and did a Google Hangout with me and watched her interact with the other dogs, me and the kids. She said that for one that Daisy is NOT Shar Pei/Pug but a Shar Pei/Pit Bull mix and that she’s at best 6 months of age still a puppy and that she shows signs of being severely abused. Knowing her breed I couldn’t rehome her or take her to the pounds kill or no kill because she’d die there. Pits have a bad rap sheet as untrue as it is, so I listened and asked questions  on what to do with Daisy and I’ve been doing them. And she’s getting a lot better. She’s cuddling and showing affection not only to me but to the boys. She’s going potty outside again unless she goes to the door and I miss it because John or Jason is needing me RIGHT NOW and she has an accident. But its like having a totally different dog.

I messaged the original owners to take her back and they did not reply and I’m thankful they never did. I have turned their name over to the local animal shelters, dog warden and police with the conversation that the trainer and I had and when we take her to the Vet (Our appointment is middle of next month.) we’ll turn those over too.

Basically if you’re getting a dog off a non breeder or rescue/shelter site please have them meet you at their vet, make them sign the dog over to you at the vet’s office so the vet can talk to you about the health issue. Take the dog to a trainer for an evaluation to make sure that animal isn’t going to be dangerous and is actually the breed they are claiming.

Tonight we had a major break through. Not only did we have a day with no dog fights, but tonight when we went to bed, where I am blogging from, because really you can’t go wrong with blogging from the Macbook in bed.

DJ should be home Tuesday or Wednesday and I honestly can’t wait. Like I am counting down the days and praying it comes sooner and the time goes fast.

Important Toddler Things to do Mommy

 photo _DSC0007.jpg The other day it was so beautiful outside for a December day in North Eastern PA so I decided to let John go with me to walk Daisy and to let Tiny back into the house. Jason was in the pack and play asleep so we went out (I can hear Jason cry from the yard.) and walked the dog. We weren’t out for very long but I drug my Nikon D90 out with me because I was tired of it collecting dust and after deciding I was going to fight as hard as I could to beat depression. So here’s some shots from the short outing to our back yard.
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DIY: Christmas glitter ornament

 photo _DSC0089_1.jpgChances are, you’ve been on Pinterest right? Right. There have been epic Mommy craft wars because of that website. Any craft addict (*cough* Me. *cough*) will tell you, that website is the devil. The beautiful devil with such wonderful ideas, and recipes, and cocktails. It makes you want to MAKE ALL THE THINGS! COOK ALL THE THINGS! DRINK ALL THE THINGS! Oh wait chances are by the end of the day dealing with two tiny humans under the age of two you’re going to want to drink all the things some days like that regardless…

But I was on YouTube, Pinterest’s evil twin, and was watching Corrine Vs. Pin where she actually goes through how to’s on various Pinterest pins. Fair enough, some one has to have the balls to do it. You go Corrine!

Well she did a Christmas video where she, and her husband did several pins, and the glitter ball was one of them. I HAD to do this. #everythingsbetterwithglitter am I right?

Well I live in a fairly small town, (Census of 2013 tells us that my town has 1300 people living in it.) so I have to travel 32 miles to the larger city, and even there I could not find the Pine Sol Floor Polish. Am I looking in the wrong isle? I mean it SHOULD be in with the mops and mop stuffs right? Maybe I just didn’t see it while trying to wrangle two children, a budget, and a Mother who’s been running errand’s with me while DJ’s OTR.

So I was looking on various Cricut groups for free SVG’s and How To’s (again with the How To’s! I get bored easily) and low and behold I found someone had used watered down Mod Podge! Well I dug through my craft hoard, I mean supply and no Mod Podge paste, but I DO have Mod Podge Spray. Same thing right? So I tried it and it worked amazingly well. Even several days later it worked. And they look pretty darn good.  photo _DSC0087.jpg

So with out further ado here’s what you’ll need:

A plastic ornament from Wal-mart or the like

Mod Podge Spray or watered down Mod Podge

Glitter both Chunk and fine

Paper (cardstock to do everything over)

Step 1: Take the metal stop part of the ornament off. This should come apart very easily by gently pushing the circle part of the opening together and pulling. Set this aside. Now take your Mod Podge spray, Glitter, Plastic ornament and card stock and set it out.

Step 2: OPEN A WINDOW I don’t care how cold it is outside, unless you want to get high, and have a head ache you’ll want a well ventilated area.

Step 3: Spray the Mod Podge into the ornament until there’s a good puddle and swirl around the ornament, tip upside down onto the card stock to let drain for about a minute or two. Longer won’t hurt as this stuff takes a few days to dry. Poor the glitter in. The chunkier glitter did work best, but I mixed them together as well for a varied obre look and that went over well. Cover the top opening with your hand and shake. Hard. Make sure every inch is covered and tip the remaining glitter, if any out onto the paper. Put the metal cap back on and you’re done.

If you have a Cricut or other cutting machines you can get a free SVG and make these:
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Which are the same steps above, just adding the extra steps of cutting the SVG out of the M&M face and gluing it onto the ball. And there you have it! Easy DIY non breakable Christmas ornament. Trust me my 18 month old got ahold of one right off the tree and bounced it across the floor and it did not break. I was pretty impressed.

And they were a lot of fun to make. I’ll be honest I’ve had one speed lately and that’s DO ALL THE THINGS! Since DJ’s been gone. I’ve been working on getting the house cleaned up and getting the house organized from the move that never happened because of me going into the hospital, and since I don’t want him to come back to a filthy house and a depressed me, I’ve been keeping myself very, very busy with things around the house. So far so good.



Keep on Keepin On

So Sunday R, Dj and I went down to the Greyhound station about 32 miles south of where we live to drop DJ off for his orientation Monday in Ohio. DJ had packed the night before, and gotten everything together. I sat on his lap and cuddled with him Sunday morning before his shower and we had John on our laps having some family cuddles as well and I noticed that my cheek was pretty wet, but I wasn’t crying.. yet.

Here I thought all this time that he was so excited to go back over the road, that he missed the life style so much and we’d been fighting so much over finances and such that I thought he wanted to.. but he didn’t. He was crying, literally falling apart because he didn’t want to leave me or the boys.

Well he got into the shower and went upstairs to get dressed and he was up there for awhile and I was down stairs with the Jason, John was upstairs with Daddy and I finally went up to see what was taking so long because it was getting close to time to go and here he was finding every excuse not to get on that bus, texting everyone he could think of for work ideas that were local and not over the road.  While he was doing this he was crying, he didn’t want to go.

I kept telling him that it was only temporary and that this was a necessary evil right now but that I loved him very much and that I wasn’t going anywhere and that seeing him so emotional oddly made me feel better about losing him to the road, and the life style because I knew he didn’t want to go.

After I kissed him goodbye I went back home with R and had dinner and came home to put the kids to bed and got packed. By packed I mean, we still have to pack bandages into the drain sites of the penrose drain and the newly formed drain of the recently lanced fluid pocket site, walked the dog and went to bed.

I haven’t cried much at all, however the nightmares have been terrible. The first night Jason slept with me because he didn’t know what was going on and last night I got the bed all to myself which was nice, but at the same time was lonely. But the boys are handling things alright and so am I. We talk to DJ daily and we tell him we love him all the time. So until local work picks up this is life, this is the way things will be. I’m not pleased with it, but we will survive.

Pity Train: Party of 1.

Not much has really been going on since the last post. I’ve been doing a lot of the mom thing. And DJ has been calling around and filling out applications and starting the process for his leave of absence at his current job so he can go OTR.

It kinda bugs me because it feels like to me he didn’t try hard enough to get in with Penn’s where he’d be home every night, he just went with the easy and sure thing. And since there was a hiccup yesterday with my healing process I’m annoyed that he’s leaving.

As for that hiccup, the bottom opening of where my Pen-rose drain had been, and the bottom one that had already abscessed and we were packing, had gotten a fluid filled pocket – not yet an abscess but on its way to becoming one if we’d not caught it in time- and need to be cut open to widen the opening and another opening created and a tunnel drain created to allow the fluid to escape to prevent an infection. It’s not only painful, but it’s also humiliating. I wasn’t in pain until after this process yesterday, now I’m in so much physical pain that I can barely stand up strait. Yay for the 90 year old lady shuffle, no?

Regardless, yesterday I began making my toddler safe ornaments (plastic) and was pretty content to just let this fluid go and wait it out, however DJ wasn’t too impressed with this idea, and since he’s leaving wanted to get it taken care of now instead of later. Bless his heart.

11217567_976382734734_2950942130008623202_n  I ended up making a white snow man head and it turned out pretty adorable if I do say so myself. I wanted to get the Christmas decorations out today but I doubt that’s gonna happen since DJ went over to the neighbor’s to help with something and is over shooting the shit, and will probably not be home for awhile. He knows that we had plans today, and BLAH. I’m just overly emotional today anyway, because the packing was painful and I cried, and I’m tired of fighting and healing and all this bullshit. I’m tired of having no money, very little hair, and always getting the short end of the stick. I’m just exhausted. Literally physically and emotionally exhausted.

I am so exhausted that I DON’T want to decorate for Christmas this year because I have no idea how we’re giving our kids a Christmas, let alone paying our bills thanks to work hours being so bad. DJ is supposed to be home for Christmas but I’m not holding my breath, in all honesty. And I’m not confident that with him being gone that I won’t end up back in the hospital with another infection because my mother will end up either flaking out or not want to do it, and I’ll end up having to do it myself and I’m not sure I CAN. I hate this. I hate all of this. I hate not being ok, not being confident that everything is gonna work out. I hate that I had to get cut open again. I hate life in general right now.   I can’t stand not being able to help out financially with everything, and on top of everything I’m getting sick.

I woke up yesterday morning with a sore throat and an ear ache.


So yeah TL;DR Life sucks, No money, Pity Train party of one.

Adulting, Mothering, and job hunting.


Welcome. I’m sure you all remember me from or Thanks for following me here. I appreciate it.

Well, not a lot has changed on the home front. Accept that Dj is no longer getting working hours that work for us, supports us and keeps us going. With my income alone is just barely enough to pay rent.

So he’s looking to go over the road, or OTR. Since he has a class A CDL the jobs locally for local runs, are basically nonexistent. So we have very little choices in this, its either we sacrifice our time together now, or we loose everything. We’ve already applied for general state assistance, I’ve given up the domain, and other paid hosting blogs and started this. Which I’m ok with.

We don’t have cable either. I’m sure I could get rid of the internet for awhile, but I really want to try to make a go of the pain blogging thing. I’m sure I’ll have to get a domain for this, but its worth a shot right?

JM and JA has been growing so fast. JA is a whopping 13 lbs, he’s 4 months old and is doing beautifully. JM is getting to that age where he’s speaking more clearly, but he’s also making up words, and pushing boundaries.

This is both good and bad. He will run up and hug you one minute and the next he’s smacking you and earning himself a time out. This morning he woke up in such a bad mood that it was unreal. We immediately put him back to bed, and that seemed to help for about 2 hours after he woke up. Now he’s back down asleep again because he was so miserable. Such is the age of the terrible almost 2’s.